User Info:

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Profile's Display Picture

Ron

In A Sentence:

It's every creepy old man joke you've ever told staring right back at you through soulless, bloodshot eyes.

Analysis:

This is Ron, and if the Internet were a playground he would be the one guy who sits on the park bench feeding the pidgeons popcorn. For 12 hours straight. He never really has any kids with him. He's just there. Lurking. And occasionally tossing down a fluffy morsel for the birds.

Ron is an electrician from North Carolina, and his myspace page is every attempt people over 40 on the Internet make at merging their culture with the rest of us 20-somethings. Most do this by talking about Led Zeppelin or some other iconic band of the past, but Ron chose the alternative route of mixing dreamcatchers and other various Native American crap with turntables. But that's not the kicker here, folks. Ron has one of the largest collections of the hottest women of myspace, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that until you realize he probably wants to meet and have sex with all of them. Once you look at his face and picture his flacid cave belly developed from all those years of 'used to work out' hunched over some of myspace's sweetest asses, well, you get the picture.

But the fun of Ron doesn't stop with his legalized pedophilia. His profile also contains commentary from a Russian chick seeking citizenship wearing the loincloth made from the freshly slain cougar of capitalism. His blogs are where you fully begin to understand the full force of insanity that is Ron. Have you ever found yourself completely unable to remove the backgrounds from those pictures? Ron can help! Just read!

"If you like the way my profile pic of me doesn't show the background around me, I can take your pic of you and remove the background around you so that it only shows you and an invisible background so that when you add it to your pics and make it the default one, when your profile is viewed it will show you with your webpage as your background.... just email me and tell me what you want and we will figure a way to get the pic you want done to me so that I can work on it and send it back to you.

P.S. I don't know how to do the backgrounds if you don't have one (someone did mine for me), you'll have to get someone else's help there......sorry."

Or maybe he can't! Oh Ron, you false-hipped bastard you!