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Written by CapnIncredible
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Tuesday, 26 July 2005 |
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In A Sentence:
"All men live enveloped in whale-lines."
Analysis:
 Sandwich mogul Jared Fogle here. Are you tired of your women expanding well into infinity? I know I am. And that's why I started taking my girlfriend to Subway every day. Now after a savory 6 inches of marketing for lunch and a footlong of shameless shilling for dinner, she hardly even looks at the employees with the hunger of Galactus in her not quite as brown as but definitely as chunky as gravy eyes anymore. And we've almost gotten her to stop licking her lips at neighborhood dogs through the magic of sedation. At Subway we value our customers and provide only the freshest of vegetables to make your sandwich eating experience something special, and we pledge to continue calling people who eat at other fast food establishments filthy swine. That's the Subway way. Eat fresh.
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